Why do we ever doubt God's love for us? Why do I ever doubt His love for me? We doubt that He loves us or that He even cares. We doubt that He is interested in the small details of our life. We doubt. I doubt. Yet our Father sends us sweet and gentle reminders that our doubt is unfounded. That He cares deeply about every part of our life. Why shouldn't He be? He did, after all, create it. When I am reminded of this it makes me want to shout, "Oh my goodness people! He loves us so much! Every time I come to this earth shaking, life altering conclusion it knocks me flat on my back. It blows me completely away! GOD LOVES YOU! HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH! So very much. And it's amazing. It's powerful. It will change your life."
I just witnessed one of these reminders of His love and it brought me to tears. Like ugly crying in the car where no one see's you type of crying. I praised God for caring enough to line up things just right so that my faith could be strengthened. Just read on, it might make you cry happy tears too.
As many of you know I worked at a wonderful place called Lake Forest Ranch in summers 13, 14, and 15. During my second summer I met a little girl from a children's home and there was an instant conection. I honestly had no idea what drew her to me, but I was thankful God saw fit to let me get to know her. We both cried the morning camp ended and she had to leave. We wrote each other back and forth a few times, but eventually lost touch. I worked at LFR the following summer and prayed hard that she would come back so I could see her again and find out how she was doing, but the previous year would have been her last to come as a kid camper. The children's home would have to send her as a youth camper and I wasn't sure if they sent their youth. But still I prayed. One evening I was sitting on the work truck's tailgate with my fellow wrangler watching the kids go about their evening activities when I saw a girl that I recognized. I called out her name in the form of a question. The next second I was running to meet her with a long hug. I sent a silent prayer of thanks to God. We reconnected that week and I learned more about her heartbreaking story. A lot of it I had already suspected, but hoped I was wrong. This sweet child let down her wall just enough to let me see the things she normally pretended did not hurt her anymore. The look in her eyes and the few tears that slipped out told me differently. We cried again at the end of that camp and again we lost touch. I tried to find her, desperately hoping that we could get in touch again. I hit nothing but dead ends. Still I prayed.
Nathan just took our youth group to LFR for summer camp. It's been wonderful to see former fellow staff members and watch our youth get to know the place Nathan and I love so dearly. He was there as an adult leader and David and I went back and forth from there to my parents' house. We knew one of the other adult leaders because we were on staff with her for several years. I got to talk to her a little bit on one of the days I went to camp. She asked me did I remember a little girl that was a camper here several years in a row and then she told me her name. Now you have to understand, I gave rides to thousands of kids over the course of three years, but I knew exactly who she was referring to and my heart lept. I told her enthusiastically that I did! She said that her sister and brother-in-law were adopting her. I was speechless for a few moments as excitement shot through me! I could have broken down and cried. I told her how I had been trying to find her and she assured me that she is doing great. She said she talks about me often and how she came to the barn as many times as she could to ride. I have no doubt in my mind that this precious soul will be loved by her new parents, sibling, aunt, grandparents, and other family members. God is so good.
You all better believe I cried on my drive back to my parents house. Why do I ever doubt? Why do I ever doubt that He cares for me? That He is personal and interested in the smallest details of my life. He loves me enough to make sure that former staff member and our group, out of all the camps from this summer, were there at the same time to let me know that the little girl that touched my heart in a huge way was being adopted by her family. God could have provided for her, taken care of her, placed her in that new loving family, and never let me know. And that would be ok. He would still be good and merciful and righteous. But He did let me know! He gave me the answers I've been searching for. He gave a beautiful gift and I'm so thankful. I want to see her again as soon as possible, and that is possible all because my Father cares about me. He cares about the small details. He loves me so very dearly. He cares! He loves me so much! He loves you so much! He does care about you and every part of your life! I just can't even get out the excitement I have felt all day! Just...know you're loved!!! Ok?! Alright, that's all folks. But seriously, He loves you.
