A Blast From The Past

Sometimes I reminisce. Ok a lot of the time I reminisce. It's part of my daydreaming personality. Little things throughout my day can be triggers. A smell that takes me back, a word said, a sound, many different things. And sometimes it's easy to think, "Wow, now that was when things were easier." It's true, I often think back to my days of working at my beloved summer camp. Days spent on horse back working alongside my dad. Afternoons spent in my hammock with an enthralling book. Evening coffee with my friends at our favorite coffee shop and hangout spot. Where we had long discussions and I laughed so hard I cried. Midnight car rides. Spur of the moment trips. Last minute spend the nights. Nights spent having a heart-to-heart with my sweet mother long after the others had gone to bed. Riding my horse whenever I wanted to or felt like it. Sitting with my kitty doing nothing at all. Watching the rain from my back porch. 

In those days there weren't as many bills. No house of my own to clean. No baby to depend on me for their every need. No family all my own to cook for and care for. No business to run. Definitely not as much responsibility. 

It's so easy to look back and think those were the easy days. But in reality, they had their struggles too. Each season has its struggles. Back then I wondered when or even if I'd ever get married. If I'd ever have children. If someone would ever love me that way. I wondered what I was doing with my life. Was I doing things that mattered. Was I making a difference in the bigger picture. I had heartache and hurt. I had struggles and failures. I made mistakes and I had regrets. I cried and I lost. It was hard too. 

But that's easy to over look when wearing the rose tinted glasses of retrospect. Especially on days like today. Days when my house is a wreck, the dishes are piled a mile high in the sink, the dishwasher is full and so are the clothes baskets, the baby has been crying, supper didn't get fixed, I didn't get a shower, and I'm more exhausted than I have ever been...ever...in my whole life. 

And then my husband comes home. The one that God gave me. He takes the baby because he knows I've had a long day. Doesn't even mention the lack of supper. And I look into the big dark eyes of my son. The son that smiles and coos at me. Holds my finger and falls asleep. And it's all worth it. Everything. 

This is a season. Like the time I reminisce about was a season. And they are fleeting. Make the most of each season. Some are painful. While others are so filled with joy you think you might just die of happiness.

 

I thank God for all the seasons in my life. Because through every single one of them I have seen His faithfulness a little more clearly. Gained a better understanding of His love. Received grace upon grace upon grace. He's so good. He's so faithful. He's so loving. And He's with me in every season. 

So Celebrate the seasons you look back on fondly! It's ok to miss them. It is. Just don't become discontent with where He has you now. You learned all that He wanted to teach you in that season. You moved on. Learn what He would have you learn in this season.  Celebrate the now! It is good! Its hard, but it's good. It's painful at times, but it's good. It's exhausting, but it. is. good!

*big sigh* I hope this was as helpful to you as it was to me haha! Sometimes it just helps to put my thoughts down. Blessings all!